Marriage is a wonderful institution. However, it is an incredibly challenging part of life. There are so many things about marriage that you just can not understand until you are actually married. This is where pre-marriage counseling comes in. Once you are engaged to be married and know that that is the step that you are heading towards, it might be a good idea to sit through some sessions. It’s not only couples with problems that see a counselor. Really, everyone should get pre-marriage counseling before they tie the knot. You can get marriage advice, ask premarital questions and more. There is even counseling for parents if you are going to be taken on a child as part of the marriage, which is very common nowadays. Here are a few ways that pre-marriage counseling could benefit you and your soon to be spouse.
It forces you to face issues.
You will both have the chance to talk about issues and problems that can lead to divorce if left untouched for too long. Addressing these issues before they are issues can help once you are married. You won’t know what issues cause divorce, but a counselor would have a lot of experience in that realm and can bring the issues up instead of waiting for you to encounter them on your own. It’s important to reach an agreement before you say “I do.” You may feel like the problems that your counselor is bringing to you are not major issues. However, even the smallest of problems can cause incredible conflict if they are given the opportunity to fester under the surface. Counseling catches those things before they get bigger and worse.
It will provide you with wisdom.
A good counselor will have a successful marriage under their belt. Whether they have been divorced before or not doesn’t matter; the important thing is that they have learned out to work through issues and stay married. They will be able to share their own experiences, mistakes and trial and error tests and tell you what worked for them. Of course, every marriage is different so what works for your counselor might not work for you, but it definitely will give you a great place to start. As a young couple, it can be difficult to be told anything by an older, wiser couple. This is why pre-marriage counseling is great, because you usually don’t know the counselor personally and haven’t already predetermined your thoughts about them.
It will help you learn to communicate.
Communication is one of the biggest problems in marriage. The thing is, men and women communicate so differently so miscommunication is inevitable. Even if you go through all the premarital counseling topics under the sun, you are still going to argue once you get married- it’s just the way it goes. However, counseling will show you when to talk and when to listen and will give you skills that will make arguing a lot more productive once you are married. Instead of taking one another for granted, you will learned how to express your feelings appropriately and figure out how your partner wishes to be spoken to. It’s also important to learn when to shut your mouth and just let things go.
You can go over your finances.
Money is one the main argument instigators of marriage. People have such different ideals of how money should be handled and how budgets should work. One of the biggest problems is that couples start off their marriage in debt. This could be because of one or the other’s previous debt or it could be because of an elaborate wedding or honeymoon that they couldn’t afford. Sit with your premarital counselor and draw up a financial plan and budget before you even get married. It’s helpful to already know about your future spouse’s spending habits before you get married so you aren’t surprised once you get there.
It prevents divorce.
This is the main thing. Research shows that couples who went through premarital counseling are over 30% less likely to consider divorce as an option. Even if nothing else works, this statistic alone should be enough to convince you to go. You want your marriage to stand the test of time.
